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kalkylen

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Death Unlimited [Apr. 15th, 2007|10:45 pm]
kalkylen
It is impossible to comprehend how many people have lived and died on this Earth and how many people, experiences and emotions have come and gone throughout the ages, like grass blowing in the breeze. The one experience that we all share is the icy grip of death. Death is indifferent to the person and can come at any time. What interests me is, after looking at these Memento Mori, is how those around the deceased deal with death. We all know that the Victorians were obsessed with death and mourning due to the high mortality rate brought on by various factors, but today, in the post WWII age we live in, is mourning still necessary? I believe that someones death should be a celebration not a somber time. We should be happy that they have solved the great riddle before us.



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Destined to reign forever from the ice-veiled throne... [Sep. 30th, 2006|04:24 pm]
kalkylen
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I start uni again on Monday. I am looking forward to it as it will be a welcome return to the creative area of my brain. I feel so drained by working over the summer that I can barely concentrate on anything I want to read or learn about, which is a shame because I like the idea of studying something not related to university work. At least a certain module at uni will be worth learning about this year; Nazi Germany no less. Which raises the question actually, what to choose as a Dissertation subject. I am thinking along the lines of Nazi Mysticism and the hidden aspects of Nazi ideology.

Before his ascension to leadership, Adolf Hitler was a member of the esoteric 'Thule Society' in Germany. Thule was a ledgendary lost island at the north of the world which possessed great knowledge and technology (much like Atlantis). Members of the Thule society believed that contact with the great remaining Masters or Ancients who populated Thule was available by utilizing mystical rituals to obtain supernatural strength and powers. These powers would be harnassed into creating Nietzschean 'supermen' or Aryans to trample and remove inferior races...

For Art, I am composing a rather bizzare soundtrack to accompany a few pieces of sculpture I have in mind. It is guitar based, but I am trying to use as few chords as possible in its construction. I plan on converting the recorded pieces using different effects to produce different atmospheres, but with the overall feeling of tension and oppresiveness.

I need to get out of this creative slump I have found myself in. NOW.
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(no subject) [Aug. 30th, 2006|05:57 pm]
kalkylen
Agamemnon
66% Extroversion, 33% Intuition, 0% Emotiveness, 100% Perceptiveness
Arrogant, combative, unscrupulous, cunning... You are most like Agamemnon, King of Mycenae. You are an extreme prick. You are always assessing your opponents, looking for their weaknesses and the perfect moment to obliterate them completely. The only thing that earns your respect is their abililty to trump you, but you make sure that never happens. You are concerned with the here and now, and not with people and their feelings.

Famous people like you: Attila the Hun, Ghengis Kahn, Boudicca, Vortigern, Charlemagne.
Stay clear of: Civilization



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion
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You scored higher than 99% on Intuition
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You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness
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You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness
Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test 

Awesome, I love Agamemnon. I would love to have been a warrior King fighting in the Trojan wars oh yes I would.
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Sympathy for Mr. Misanthrope [Aug. 22nd, 2006|05:04 pm]
kalkylen
Hmmm...Strange that. I appear nice on the outside, but inside I am a raging, horrible bastard who, if thoughts could kill, would turn the human race into a smoldering ash-heap.



The Caring, Interpersonal Type:

Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

    Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
  • Basic Desire: To feel loved
  • Enneagram Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
  • Enneagram Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"

Profile Summary for Enneagram Type Two

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in the lives of others.

Level 2: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere.

Level 3: Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving—a truly loving person.

Average Levels

Level 4: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing," becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love is their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly.

Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill.

Level 6: Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is.

Level 8: Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors.

Level 9: Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others. Generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

Examples: Mother Teresa, Barbara Bush, Eleanor Roosevelt, Leo Buscaglia, Monica Lewinsky, Bill Cosby, Barry Manilow, Lionel Richie, Kenny G., Luciano Pavarotti, Lillian Carter, Sammy Davis, Jr., Martin Sheen, Robert Fulghum, Alan Alda, Richard Thomas, Jack Paar, Sally Jessy Raphael, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Ann Landers, "Melanie Hamilton" (Gone With the Wind). and "Dr. McCoy" (Star Trek).

The Meaning of the Arrows

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), needy Twos suddenly become aggressive and dominating at Eight. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), prideful, self-deceptive Twos become more self-nurturing and emotionally aware, like healthy Fours. For more information, click here.

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A True Account of a Multiple Murder and Its Consequences [Aug. 20th, 2006|11:04 pm]
kalkylen
[mood |calmcalm]

I never seem to find the time (or patience) to update, and see as I am currently bored out of my soul, I may aswell do it.

Wacken went well. Had a great time in Germany as always. Enjoyed drinking lots of 'plop' and am already looking forward to next years pilgrimage. The line-up already promises to be good, with Immortal, Blind Guardian, and Saxon already confirmed.

I seem to be working extremely SHIT hours in work as of late. I need to be working at least minimum 26 hours per week, but lately all that can be coughed up for me is about 16 hours spread over five days. Bastards, when will they learn my worth! I have applied for other jobs, but as I am not some boring souless twerp, I received no reply. So as of this day, I wish nothing but scorn upon the houses of Gieves & Hawkes and T.M. Lewin. I am not used to struggling for money so this reality shock is something I would rather have not experienced. Before I moved into my chambers, I was under the impression that over 28 hours of work would be available to me, but as stated, this proved to be nonsense and I am having to do without buying things I previously would not have had a second thought of buying (such as an amazing houndstooth tie in Ralph Lauren).

Just finished reading 'In Cold Blood' by Truman Capote. It is a viciously engaging tale about the senseless murder of a family in Kansas during the 1950's. I am not sure whether we are supposed to feel empathy for the killers, but as it documents their actions preceeding, following, and after being convicted of the murders, it is hard not to. I don't want to go into too much detail because I know Zoe wants to read it, but let me say that it is heartwrenching honest in its portrayal of the events and I command everyone to read it (before watching the movie of course!).
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Wacken all over the world pt. 3 [Aug. 1st, 2006|03:55 pm]
kalkylen
[mood |excitedexcited]

Woohoo!! Finally got my Uni results and I pass everything...at least that is a weight off my shoulders.

In more interesting news, GERMANY TOMORROW!!!

Farewell for now!
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(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2006|10:30 am]
kalkylen
[mood |tiredtired]

Zoe and I went to watch 'The wind that shakes the Barley' last night. It was a very, very good portrayal of the causes of the Irish Civil War of the 20's and the actions of local millita groups who strove to remove English occupation. I was surprised at the performance of Cillian Murphy for whom I managed to salvage some respect for after the debacle known as Batman Begins.

The only trouble was, we went to watch it in the FACT Cinema which is a harbour for pretension. Concrete walls, white-washed walls, and terrible art-work ahoy. As Graham so comically put it last night, "The FACT  of the matter is, the FACT is a pile of shite."
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July, bring me rain [Jul. 25th, 2006|06:33 pm]
kalkylen
[mood |hungryhungry]

Hell yeah! Just over a week and I will be traversing to Wacken Open Air in Germany. It will be my third year running, but this time I am doing myself the favour of flying instead of getting the 26 hour coach journey. I have wanted to see Emperor live for so long, and I can't believe I am finally getting to do so!

Holly's party is this friday, which should be good. I believe the Hyperjax are playing who are by no means bad, so it should be a jolly good time for all...
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Be careful with that axe... [Jul. 23rd, 2006|12:50 am]
kalkylen
[mood |gratefulgrateful]

I just got back from seeing The Australian Pink Floyd show with my father. It was gobsmacking. The time and effort that has gone into it is outstanding. They are so good at what they do, they even played at Dave Gilmour's (Floyd singer and guitarist) wedding.

They opened with 'Shine on you crazy Diamond' and had Syd Barrets face projected behind the stage, which was met with rapturous approval. I forget that exact list of songs played, but of the two and a half hours they played, here is a round-up 'Astronomy domine', 'Wish you here', 'Echoes', 'The Wall', 'Comfortably Numb' etc...

Anyway, just watch this instead....

Hey.
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............................... [Jul. 17th, 2006|12:18 am]
kalkylen
[mood |tiredtired]

I had the most terrible of dreams last night. In it, for whatever purpose, I murdered an old friend of mine and buried him on a hill. I have no recollection of why I committed such an abominable act, but such is the nature of dreams. Of course, such an act rarely goes undetected, and it wasn’t long before I was being hightailed by a police squad car. The chase took place around a fictional city centre which I strangely knew the layout for, as I utilized its alleys, passage ways, and nooks to my advantage. I managed to stay one step ahead of my pursuers and after some time I arrived home and hid in my room for what seemed like weeks. I was guilt racked and it was obvious to all who beheld me that I was shielding some dark secret.

The day arrived when there was a loud knock on the front door. Fearing for my sanity at this point, I had come to the conclusion that to remain in such a state of mind for much longer would force me to rethink my purpose and worth on the Earth and take the cowards route to the unsympathetic conqueror worm. I could hear my father talking to someone with an authoritarian voice downstairs. The voices were muffled but I could make out my name in the conversation which filled me with the utmost dread and terror. Unable to hide my apprehension any longer, I crept over to the window and stole a glance outside. The sky was an oppressive grey with light rain and I gained some relief by seeing a nondescript black car and not the squad car which my turmoil-ridden mind was expecting. I could hear my father calling me, and it was not until the fifth beckoning that I steeled myself, threw on my dressing gown and headed down stairs to certain doom. As soon as I had reached the bottom, I knew I had made a grave mistake, for what greeted me was a thing of pure horror I can barely describe here. Its face was not so much a face more than it was a shapeless mass of flesh, shrouded by shadow, and with the unmistakable odour of something that has long expired and remains only as a legacy to its time upon the Earth. The strangest part of its head were the inch holes which covered it at random. Gazing inside, I noticed that swirling mist stretched for as far as the eye could see. An impossibility you will agree, but the very fabric of my reality was being torn apart by this accursed inquisitor. Everything surrounding it was lost to me. My father had disappeared, just as the walls no longer held any dominion over the ceiling. My brain ceased to recognise anything but this foul abomination which had came exclusively to harvest me in payment for my crime. I noticed there was a low, queer howling, like wind through a tunnel. The thing spoke to me in the voice I had heard earlier, but this time much clearer and without the muffling which had helped to mask at least part of the evil which now resonated with crystal clarity. "Where were you last night?" It took me a moment, but I managed to stammer out my reply. "I..I was here...I haven’t been well the last few days." It was only last night that I had committed my heinous act? The fiend spoke, this time with Mephistophelian flair, and I could see the mist inside its impossible head change to a deep crimson. "You know why I am here don't you. You know that I know what has transpired of late." Trying to keep my eyes off the beast, it was then that I noticed its gnarled, black hands. They shifted to its waist began to drum against its belt. So terrified was I, that I could not stay within reach of this monster a second longer and attempted to move my body backwards. It was a futile attempt, for my body was firmly rooted to the spot I had occupied when I first encountered this thing. It could sense my desperation and began to encroach towards me. "You know why I am here." it repeated. "You know why I am here." My mind was in chaos, and every atom in my body was screaming at my brain to put its machine into motion. The beast moved slowly for what seemed like an aeon and I could smell its pungent odour stronger with every step that it took. I managed to scream for it to  leave me alone but to no avail, it had decided what action it would take against its quarry regardless of morality, which I am sure this hell-spawn knew nothing of. By now, the wind had reached a cacophony of noise like the screaming of a uncountable lost souls and I knew then, that I would join those tormented ranks, nameless, and haunted by my crime for ever.
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